My Prayer - Devotion

Then I open my eyes
And all I see reality shows Im alone

“The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper…” -1 kings 19:11-13

-taken from terri, whose writing I will always be in awe of.

what does a man do I look for in a women?

A potential life mate and companion. Someone to share his life with. Who will love and cherish him. Whom he will love and cherish. Some one who will sit on the jetty and listen to his wild dreams. Some one who will want to be part of his life. Some one who will have her own life and want him to be part of her life. Some one who will laugh at his corny jokes(ok, as long as she gets them I guess it’s enough). Some one who will burst out in random song or dance just because she is happy. Some one capable of caring for herself, but willing to trust him to take care of her.

ok.. just a random rant, I’m not even sure why I thought of this topic(Am I getting old?). I know it seems rather specific and fairtales don’t come true(or do they?). But hey, just as a girl wishes for chivalry, let this guy wish for adventure.

9 Crimes - Damien Rice & Lissa Hannigan

For some reason, I found this song depressing.

Why I chose a China bride

Many people seem to believe that Singapore men who opt for foreign brides tend to pick younger, less educated women from less developed countries. I’m a Singapore male and I just married a foreigner this year. She’s from China, two years older than I am and a university graduate with a top-notch academic record. We met in Kunming, where I work, after mutual friends introduced us.

On one of our dates, we did discuss why I did not have a Singapore girlfriend. I admitted that I don’t understand what Singapore women want. They have their own careers and are as skilled and capable as their male colleagues. Yet, they demand that their dates behave like ‘gentlemen’ and treat them as the weaker sex. This hardly seems like equality or equitable.

In February, when The Straits Times reported the results of a survey on singles, this ‘contradiction’ was raised. Many women still expect their dates to carry their handbags and pick up the tab. Asking to split the bill is still widely unacceptable on the local dating scene.

From my own experience and what I’ve heard, it seems many Singapore women tend to interpret feminism in their own way. A woman who shells prawns for her man is deemed archaic, but a man who carries a woman’s handbag for her is being gentlemanly, even though it might make him look silly.

If Singapore women want to be on an equal footing with their men, then they should expect to be treated equally - the way men treat other men. Among other things, there would be no need for the man to escort the woman home.

However, if women want men to shelter, love and care for them in the gentlemanly fashion they seem to demand, then they should let their men take charge.

I would have been happy to date and marry a Singapore woman who knew which she wanted. I would have accepted whichever path she chose.

As things turned out, I found a woman who knew exactly what she wanted - in Kunming.

Alvin Tan

This article was first published in The Sunday Times on Oct 19, 2008.

-Koped from Jeaden’s Blog

I find it rather retarded that a “well educated” man could possibly write such an article.

They have their own careers and are as skilled and capable as their male colleagues. Yet, they demand that their dates behave like ‘gentlemen’ and treat them as the weaker sex. This hardly seems like equality or equitable

First off, how does treating them as ladies and being a gentleman in anyway equate to treating them as the weaker sex? When you open the car door, send a girl home, pick up the tab, take her laptop(Ok, friggin Betty Boop handbags are excusable, if you are comfortable with it, by all means) or just simply give her your coat on a chilly summer night, you don’t, in any way, express your “superiority”.

A woman who shells prawns for her man is deemed archaic, but a man who carries a woman’s handbag for her is being gentlemanly, even though it might make him look silly.

Dunno how to peel your own prawns then don’t order lah, cb. I don’t enjoy peeling prawns, damn, I can’t even eat what I peel, but I do the peeling for the girl sitting next to me and even for my friends if I’m bored enough(Seafood dominated Chinese dinners come to mind). The expectation is an archaic one, the act in itself, if voluntary, isn’t.

If Singapore women want to be on an equal footing with their men, then they should expect to be treated equally - the way men treat other men. Among other things, there would be no need for the man to escort the woman home.

I’d like to see what you say when you get ass raped by a group of guys.

However, if women want men to shelter, love and care for them in the gentlemanly fashion they seem to demand, then they should let their men take charge.

I would have been happy to date and marry a Singapore woman who knew which she wanted. I would have accepted whichever path she chose.

So you put the blame on women expecting to be treated well and not being submissive? No Sir, Fuck you.

Ok, That was a good stress reliever… I wrote this rant partially ’cause I had needed something to take apart and I just happen to stumble across this post from a personal blog of someone I know. I’m not so sure she’d like me to link her so I’ll just leave it out.

In all seriousness, the points he brought up are so flawed I will not even entertain it with a civilized rebut, but below this I shall write my views in a more civil tone on how we, Singaporean men, should treat a date or even just any girl we go out with.

A lot of the things we do as “gentlemen” may seem to be to our disadvantage, yet honestly, does it take so much effort to be nice? (There is another problem with smiling and greeting a neighbor/colleague when you step into the lift with them but I won’t get into that)”Let me get the door for you”, “Take my coat, you’re shivering”, “Do you need a hand with that?”, “Can I get your order for you?”.

Receiving these little things makes a girl feel good. Giving these little things makes ME feel good. It’s a selfless expression of kindness/love/affection/just plain class. I do not expect my girl friend to be submissive, I certainly hope that we get along well enough that we do not argue over every simple thing, I expect that compromise and understanding are hard to come by but not entirely impossible with a little wit and dollops of affection.

On the matter of picking up the tab, yes, sometimes it can be rather steep and you as an educated man have to spend the money you earn wisely. But if you are courting a girl, for God’s sake, what’s a couple hundred compared to getting laid tonight?(JOKE, u humorless bastards). Yes, when you are in a relationship and both of you aren’t earning much then it’s fine to go dutch, if you are working then I simply do not see any excuse unless you think she’s taking advantage of you.

Ask any girl, be she from University, working at a diner, answering calls from rude customers… They’d ask you the same thing, why can’t guys be more gentlemanly? Where is the romance, the knight in shining armor(ok, that is a little over the top, but you get the idea)

Indeed, Mr. Tan, Chivalry is all but extinct…..

fucktard.

You picked the wrong door my friend. Now all you need to do is follow the bread crumbs back whence you came…

Or pray really hard that you are schizophrenic because there will be hell to pay without a voice in your head to guide you in the darkness.

Come my muse. Let’s get to work.

Hey AnT, you think too much, you fear too much, you care too much. Fuck you.

*hits head on wall*

But some how, that will never change.

It was a long time ago and I’ve been over it many times in my mind. Yes, I am over it. I learnt from my mistakes and I would have made different choices if I had the gift of reading your mind(or if you simply told me the truth).

I do tend to make my posts obscure and as far as possible impersonal. Yet with the words and lyrics chosen, it actually conveys my feelings quite clearly. To myself and whoever it is intended for actually… But then, most of the time you’ll never know for sure. =)

I guess I do so just so because it’s been too long since I had anyone to talk to and yet, it’s hard to trust implicitly… only time will tell if I ever reach out for a rose within the thorny bush I guess…

It is a self fulfilling prophecy.

I miss you, even after so many years, just so you know.